Kindness begets kindness??? Perhaps not...

Been thinking about how much kindness I have given to people. I know I shouldn't count them but somehow I felt so used. I think I have given too much kindness and not receiving any in return even if it is just a thought. Kindda felt so down yesterday that I somehow felt that I should stop giving kindness. Should I be mean and not think about others other than myself?

There is a couple of incidents that made me feel that way and I know I shouldn't think about it but... it does hurt. It hurts so much but I really have no idea what to do.

Maybe this would go away and perhaps, I might be kind again. Maybe not.