Looking back....
I know I should have stop reading Ivan's blog... Hahahhahaa........ But old habits die hard. Should have stop remembering everybody's blog address. Get me depression.
Anyway, I attended the Culture Night at HIM. Its totally a different thing compared to the International Day in Caux. I guess I still like it there in Caux but the one in HIM is much better than the previous semester.
Life has been fine but I guess I need more action. My life is a repetition of what I always have done. I'm like a machine who is always on repeat mode, each new day. Why is it so? Won't I be like a loser who doesn't get what seem to be the best for me? Look at my life....
I have always been alone even though I have a boyfriend. I guess, I haven't found someone who would understand me and I understand him. Not only that, I still can't make it out in the world on my own. I'm still a lowly person who won't and never make it in life. Look at my circumstances... Look at all those people who makes it in life and is or already married... Look at all those happy faces, those people who have everything while I have none. I have nothing that I can be proud of except that I have been here in Switzerland. Even so, I'm proud to say that I can experience new friendships and face the challenge of keeping the old ones, which I always fail.
Looking back at my past, I'm happy that I can be right at where I am now. At the present time when I can experience the life that I have never would if I were to stay at where most of my family lived. But looking back as well, I wish I could have all those things back again, where we always get together on weekends.
Looking at my friends, I can't decide if I should be happy or not comparing to them. But, I tried not to compare. Its my life and I should experience my life as best as I could. But... it can never will as I'm a pessimist. A pessimist who love to be pessimistic about everything. Looking at my whole life, I can say that I haven't lived to my fullest......
Anyway, I attended the Culture Night at HIM. Its totally a different thing compared to the International Day in Caux. I guess I still like it there in Caux but the one in HIM is much better than the previous semester.
Life has been fine but I guess I need more action. My life is a repetition of what I always have done. I'm like a machine who is always on repeat mode, each new day. Why is it so? Won't I be like a loser who doesn't get what seem to be the best for me? Look at my life....
I have always been alone even though I have a boyfriend. I guess, I haven't found someone who would understand me and I understand him. Not only that, I still can't make it out in the world on my own. I'm still a lowly person who won't and never make it in life. Look at my circumstances... Look at all those people who makes it in life and is or already married... Look at all those happy faces, those people who have everything while I have none. I have nothing that I can be proud of except that I have been here in Switzerland. Even so, I'm proud to say that I can experience new friendships and face the challenge of keeping the old ones, which I always fail.
Looking back at my past, I'm happy that I can be right at where I am now. At the present time when I can experience the life that I have never would if I were to stay at where most of my family lived. But looking back as well, I wish I could have all those things back again, where we always get together on weekends.
Looking at my friends, I can't decide if I should be happy or not comparing to them. But, I tried not to compare. Its my life and I should experience my life as best as I could. But... it can never will as I'm a pessimist. A pessimist who love to be pessimistic about everything. Looking at my whole life, I can say that I haven't lived to my fullest......
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