In need of warmth...

Beginning to feel very emotional again. I'm missing my mom right now. Wonder how long before I see her again.

I'm going for the wine trip this coming weekend. I just hope my visa would take more than 3 months... so that I could go somewhere for at least a few days in other parts of Europe.

I want my whole life ahead of me to be as happy as I could and help those I want to help, but am I so vain to feel like that? I don't know. I never could understand what I want and how I am feeling anymore. I have been in a state of sadness.

Speaking of that, I went back Kwong Ming during the weekend. I felt so bad after that. Thomas, my boss, have seen me since I first started working with him and up till now. He kindda saw me growing up and I actually made him cry. He confess to me that he sees me being more cheerful and going back to my usual self again. I guess, in a way I agree with him. I have been in a sad state that no one have ever or would understand. Now, I have been more cheerful than before. I think since as well I'm more mature after all what have happen to me. But then again, is it a good thing or bad?

No one would or can answer it, even myself.