Thursday, March 30, 2006

Can we try to Heal the World?

I was watching CNN earlier and the news that was on, struck me badly. It was showing about Africa and its armies. Army that backed up the government. This has made me realized that having armies is not that safe as well. I know its Africa but it seems to apply to every country even though I know some countries doesn't have war right now. But imagine that these few peace countries that have war. Those things that I saw, it might just apply...

What I saw was this one boy who was crying and got caught by these army men on to a van. He was striped and they tried to tie him with this oversized T-shirt. While they were trying, he was squirming around just so that he can run away, but they wouldn't. To stop him from squirming, one of the soldiers stepped on his legs. I literally mean stepped, like on top of him. The boy was persistent (he kept on squirming) and same goes with his capturors. I don't know what were they thinking to actually done it. I don't know how long does this goes on, remember I was watching TV thus to me, it was only a matter of seconds. By then, the boy losses his fight and got tied. He was then thrown down from the van while the soldiers watched him trying to get himself up. I can pretty guessed that they were laughing out loudly at him.

Another scene that was showed was unbelivable sad. One man was caught and was let to run on the streets. While he was running, soldiers started to shoot him. Mind you, this was close range. Not more than 5 meters away. Max was 2 m. The man fell down flat and I could see the blood gushing out staining his T-Shirt. I couldn't believe my eyes.

How can these people have the heart to do that to others. Others who are just like them in color, language, race even from the same country. My whole body was still shaking cold while I was typing this. I felt so bad for these 2 people whom I just watched on TV and mind you, this is not the only 2 cases. There are more stories to tell but I can't make myself watched it. It makes me think that this world have not come to what children of the past have tried to do. To make this world a better place. Even from a long time ago, loads of people tried to do this but no luck. Remember the song from Michael Jackson, 'Heal the World'? Why can't we have a better place and actually heal those who are hurting? Why can't the government do something when those soldiers are their soldiers? Why must the governments make people be afraid of soldiers or the army? Because of this, no one will think that soldiers are peacemakers which governments have been saying to its people. Instead, they will think that soldiers are the cause of social problems.

Can we try please, to Heal the World? Try each one best? I'm trying and I will make it happen.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Blackness around me...

I'm tired. Emotionally. I'm sick of everything. I'm sick of every single thing that affect me.

I guess I will go back to my old self-containment mode. Will just be by myself and hoped that my existence to this world wouldn't matter in any way it would come to.

It comes to the point where I am myself. I don't see other people as friends anymore, just mere acquantances. Nothing more and nothing less. Even those whom I thought as friends. I guess next time I should judge people more. But one quote I remember, it said that if we judge people, we won't have time to love them. I wonder if it is true...

People have betrayed me and betrayed my trust in them. I hate those people. How can I live in this hypocrite world?? Like one of my classes teached me, you are not free as long as you are still in your own body. It is part of what I believe now.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Thoughts to ponder about...

I just don't understand people. How can you just think you are always right and not actually takes in more information? How can you think that others are being high-school when they are trying to state the fact when your gossip is wrong? How can you blame on others when you haven't done any single thing? How can you not see when it is right in front of you? How can you not respect others when you want to be respected? How can you not forgive when you want to be forgiven? How can you not show or do whatever you preached? I just still don't understand people. Even I don't understand myself.

How can I do whatever I preached? How can I respect others when I don't get respected? How can I see when my eyes are closed? How can I forgive others when I don't forgive myself? How can I be myself when I always think of what others think of me? How can I believe I can do it when I'm always being pushed down? How can I be who I am just because I am when I'm being judged and told to change? How can I believe when I'm betrayed? How can I be creative when I'm always told no? How can I do what I want and could do when I'm already being discouraged?

Why can't I create harmoy within my own home? Why can't I create love within my own home? Why can't I keep the peace in my own home? Why can't I create warmth in my own home? Why can't I satisfy people?

Things are just meant to be some says, or this is life. Life is like that. But I don't want things to be like that. I want things to be right. But how right is right? How wrong is wrong? Everything is so complicated when I want to keep it simple.

Look at me. I'm a failure in what I preached.