To love or not to love??

Is it better to be loved or to love?? Why is it that whenever I love someone, I will always be hurt? Always hurt and in the end to be broken up. Worse, I don't have the privellage of having even the care of that person and I will just lost my old self. My old self that is happy and undaunted by the problems that I might have have.

Why is it that love can be so complicated but there are a lot of wise words, quatations telling about love that is so great, meaningful etc.....

Muddled......

Tomorrow is Sunday, Easter.... This is the time where people will go to church. Remembering more than 2000 years ago, that Jesus passed away and risen again on the third day. I'm not going to church, not because I'm not a Christian or whatever it is. I believe that we all should be thankful for whatever He has done and not just remembering everything on special days or the Sabbath (Sunday) where people go to church.

Today, I'm not in the mood for anything........ Work been going fine. Unfortunately, I'm not eating right. Haven't got the appetite to eat. Food has lost interest in me or is it the other way round??

Been thinking about lots of things lately. In a way, it is not good as I will kept it all to myself. As contrary to popular belief about me, I'm not someone who is open. In fact, I get people comfortable enough to open up to me or so I believe. In a sense, I would love to find someone, just one person whom I'm comfortable enough to open up. If I think back, I found one. Eko. He is the only person whom I found that I can be who I am inside and outside. He is a very nice and very understanding friend which I find pleasure in his presence. Not that I don't appreciate others, in fact, I DO, with their own little special way :)

By the way, why does people get frustrated with feelings? Love, friendship, hate, anger, etc ??? Need some enlightenment.

All By Myself

Been into this routine mode I have to keep from the past weeks. I think this make me going to see things as a routine and boy, if it doesn't fall into the routine, I do get pissed off. I think I should chill and relax.

I think I would be going out more and more. Home is just not home anymore. I don't feel safe even at my own place. I feel so much better when I'm out, with friends mostly drinking and just chilling out. Unfortunately, not many people I could call up and hanging out with but I know should be happy to have them.

Have been just slacking in Montreux for the past month. Been not too happy with life. Maybe because of the company but I'm hoping that I could get pass.

Easter is coming soon and believe me, I have been having spending all this festives all by myself. I mean, not only Easter but other times too. Life is just miserable isn't it?

Crappy mood

Been having a busy week and have been having loads of problems thrown to me from every direction. Problems that always comes to me and yet I can't do anything with it.

Had dinner with Dan just 2 days ago. Was really nice. Was supposed to go out for drinks but then in the end, had dinner as well. It is really nice to know that we could chit chat and have fun. He kindda really look through me. Look into how I actually don't like to be hurt by guys. I don't and I would try very hard at my best to not to hurt them too. But I know, the hurt would always be there and I will always be the one that hurt a lot.

Have had some weird gossips going around up in caux. Don't care, don't want to know etc.

Missed chatting with loads of people. WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WHENEVER I'M ONLINE??????????