Another Update

I'm sick right now. Tonsils getting swollen. Pretty badly but can't do anything much about it. Got a bloody phlegm as well. Went to see the nurse but the nurse doesn't have the experience of nurses from PH. But then again, much better than Mdm Vitamin C.

I have a fever right now even though I feel great. Something is really wrong with me. I feel like I'm on top of the world when I know I'm sick but fever??? Strange. Anyway, somehow the nurse was saying its just a virus that going on around. So why do I feel like I'm the only one??? The nurse advised that I should go to sleep because of my fever but I don't want to. Feel like doing work but my mind is blank right now.

Nothing much to update about except that I got back ROA (Records of Achievements) for my midterm and went for the Oscar's Banquet. It is something like a normal banquet but organized by the students. Had been thinking about what I'm going to do for my internship. Going to start on finding the addresses and names to send my CV.

This weekend is the International Day and there is always something to do. Sigh.....

Just an update

Slack the whole night last night and took a nap today. Really not good. Should stop right away but I guess I should deserve it as well because I have been sleeping late most of the night.

Been feeling hungry all the time this few days. Might be the change of the weather and I guess I should be happy of the change of the weather as I NEED to put on weight. My family always complained that I'm SKINNY but I do eat like a PIG :p

Nothing much going to happen today I think due to the immense tension of the Oscar banquet and also International Day. I really hope International Day goes well but it is not another 2 weeks I think. Sigh.... Oh ya, called Eko to bitch about the things that the September semester lent to the February semester. I really could kill him if he didn't do anything about it and it doesn't help that there are people who doesn't care about it.

Melissa and Polina is studying French and gives me the pressure that I should study as well but....my quiz is on Friday and it is only Tuesdday. I wanted to do my other projects as well. Now I'm just downloading and copying information which I could use when I'm offline. Think I'm much better today than other times.

Like to thank Gary for being there for me when I was down and just tired. I think he does help me to get unwind and let my hair down which is good. I do have some friends who are like that as well but most of them are busy with their work, studies or just plain don't care at all.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day where I have class till 6. I think I should stop eating. Not healthy as I always eat oily stuff and amazingly, I'm NOT FAT. Geezz............

Navin is stressed out because of banquet. I do understand his feelings but he gave himself pressure and stress which he could just not put on himself. I think it is just stupid to get into this 'stress' when you have a few days left. I know its pressure but please..........he have so many people for this banquet unlike my banquet. Sigh......... but then again, its Navin.

Just not my day

Just a bit of update. Yanti is super tired. I don't know how to keep my time properly. Idiotic track pad. Have been buggin me since I start to do my work.

Anyway, had fun last night. Talked to Brian and Annas. Spent bout 90 minutes talking with Brian and another 120 minutes talking with Annas. I was tipsy again. OOOOPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSS...............

Was helping Ray with Grotto as Chase went to hospital. Even though it is only a few minutes, I had fun. I love working in the bar.

You know what. It is not Yanti's day today. MSN logged off by itself all the time. Feels like an IDIOT right now. Signing in and out all the time.

I'm so tired but can't do anything right. I think I will just stay in my room so that I can do things right.

Please Heed The Warning

Got this from Brian. I find it very cute so tried to do it. Please heed this warning and I won't be responsible if something happen :P

> WARNING

Yanti is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

Anyway, had a nice chat with Gary last night. It is very nice to hear his voice again. I couldn't recognized it at first and never would be. He sound very different. More ................ Unable to describe. Miss him a lot.

Anyway, Euphie would be having hectic week next week coz of her banquet convention thingy. Guess won't disturb her as much and I can't disturb her anyway. She is the one who disturb me. OOOOPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSS........... Can't disturb her due to the massive meetings and projects that I have to do. Glad to know that meeting last night went very well even though we started out quite late. Thank Goodness that I have responsibilities mates as Paolo and Bing :) Actually, I should honor them coz they were the one who finds all the information while yours truly slack and slack and slack by eating pizza down in Grotto. Was too hungry.

Thanks to some people, I can get by my bad days. Thank you Bobby, Euphie, Lindt, Edwin, Gary, Melissa, Ivan and others that I can't remember. Thank you people. Right got to go.........

Sekali Ini Saja Biarkan Aku Tenggelam Ke Dalam Kegelapan Dan Kesakitan Ini

I officially need an internship. CSS had just rejected me and I really don't know what to do now. Think I'm just gonna rot here and do nothing but then again, I really don't know what to do. I wanted to do something but I don't want to work again as a waitress. Not me BUT yours truly don't have a choice but to be one.

Somehow this year is not my year. Everything just doesn't fall into place. I'm trying to be positive so I guess, I will be having something more than what I wanted. -wishing very hard-

Oh ya, Jiazhi just gave me back some of my things. I found back my old book filled with wise words and quotes that I especially chosen and wrote down. Gave me back memories as I remember Diana talking about it on my Friendster's testimonial on one of them. Almost remember what each one I wrote for and from where. Very interesting and I really do love it so. Thanks Jiazhi...

Somehow I can't get along with everyone anymore or maybe its just me. Sigh.... Sorry if I irritated you. I'm at fault.

Got nothing else to say but that I'm very very disappointed with some of the first years Indonesians. They think that they have nothing else to do and that they have no talent in dancing. Like we all do have. So irritating but I really can't say anything about them. It is so unpatriotic of them. Like I do, but it is a fun thing to do. I do love to be involved same goes with Rosa, Melissa and others but sigh.... It is expected that there are some who just can't be bothered to show the good side of Indonesia in front of foreigners or even in the foreign like most people are right now.

Anyway, work again catching up on me. I'm really lagging behind and have been neglecting to have meetings. I just don't have the time management in me. Right now I'm so full up to the brain with deadlines, projects and more projects, not forgetting some personal problems that came up which added to everything. I do want just a day where I can relax and let go of everything. I'm so mentally, emotionally and physically tired. I felt like I need to punch my fist into the wall. I will feel better if I experienced some pain but I know I shouldn't be like that. It will make become addicted to pain which is bad. I have been trying very hard not to do it since PH times.

Sick of being where I am right now. But I know that I should be facing this so that it will train me for future stress. It is just bogging me down and I can't do anything much right now. I want to tell a friend but everyone is just so busy with everything else. I'm not having fun as much as I was when I was in first and second years. I think this is why third years is just so unbearable. Think this is the reason why I have little headaches here and there.

jeklfjdsklhghjdfgj

I'm getting really sick or that my body is very weak now. I took a nap earlier and it is far more that usual. It is not normal. Slept from 4pm till 7pm. Missed dinner but fortunately I missed it. It is pasta and some weird sauce, as what Euphie described.

Got my Event project back. Wasn't too happy but it is enough for me to stand where I stand. Just hoping that I can keep my score up till now.

I think I'm irritating to people. But in actual fact, I'm not really thinking much bout it. If I'm irritating, tell me and I won't do it anymore. If I can remember of course :P

Oh, had my interview with CSS yesterday. Don't think I will get any job offer and have to start thinking where else I should go to. I understand very well on where I stand for this job here in school but then again, if I can't get any, have to start thinking of going somewhere else.

Ah...forget bout it. Not going to care so much. As long as I don't go back to Asia and do it, it is fine. I know that if I do that, I would not coming back to study. Sad to say but ya, thats my family. Won't be supporting my education anymore.

Well, I have loads of things to do now that I don't what to start with first with so little time.

Cold...very cold

Its Sunday now, almost stepping into Monday.

I'm feeling down now and I know no one is gonna care except myself and Daddy. I know that I'm alone and I know that giving my whole heart to someone is no use when I don't feel it back. I wish I can feel yours but you never let me feel it.

My life is now very hectic. Heavy load is coming up and I don't have the strength and power to do it. Nothing much happen during the weekend except that one guy, fell down from the 5th to 0 floor. Don't know how but I have heard a few different story behind it.

I think I'm falling sick right now. Feeling cold when others are feeling hot. Think I might get a fever. The feeling of fever is creeping on me and I'm actually shivering now. I don't want to get sick as I have an interview on Monday while a presentation on Tuesday. Hate this sick feeling coz I felt that I'm gonna cry. Having high fever makes me cry. Don't know why but probably I thought I was but wasn't.

AT LAST..........

Just finished my last paper. Sales and Marketing. Totally wiped out. Too tired to do anything else. Goind down to town later to relax and have fun. See if I can buy something to cheer me up.

Slept late last night and I look like a zombie today, I think. Today I would just relax and have fun and tomorrow, I will start studying. Will try to start studying.

Anyway, got nothing say anymore. I have no more feelings now for anyone now. Just lost it last night I think. For Ann, sorry for not chatting with you but don't worry, will pay it back somehow. Think there is something wrong with the keyboard and this site. Not responding to whatever I type.

Think just gonna end here. Got to change coz I'm GOING down to town with some friends :)

Another Lesson Learned

Think I'm gonna fail my Business Communication. This is the first time in the history that I'm very sure that I will fail the paper. Sucks man.... Worse thing is, most people I talked to says the same thing as I do. Oh well, at least if I fail, I will have company :P I'm BAD, BAD girl.

So now I'm concentrating on Sales and Marketing. I think I could do better on this rather than today's paper. Anyway, I was pissed off last night while I'm sitting down here at the same seat as I sat. Some people just copied off my notes without asking me first. Only one or two did but there are others who didn't. Serve them right as my notes doesn't have everything. So if they got bad marks, I'm not giving a shit.

Oh well, nice to chat with Maureen. She got online while I'm online as well. Been such a long time. Oh ya, I'm happy that I have only one paper left for this week. But...too much work the next few weeks. I think I will be very bogged down by all of this. Fortunately because of the exemption, I can concentrate more on my projects.

Oh ya....think I'm beggining to have a tendency to give the I-don't-care attitude to some people. OOOOPPPPPSSSSS....... But then again, they deserve it. Some people don't know how to study on their own. Just relying on others and for the lecturers to spoon-feed them. Idiotic people. So irritating.

One more thing, I have run out of songs. Songs to listen. New ones I mean. I need songs but I'm so not in touch with the world anymore.

Ah ya, while I talked to Maureen, it hit me that I have been such a bad friend to her. I neglected her and I felt so bad but I know its gonna be hard for her to forgive me. But ya, learned something new everyday aren't I?? I have learned to treasure my friends because they are the ones that always been there for me. I will try very hard to keep all my friends close to my heart. I hope I don't run out of love to be divided equally to all of them :p

Need more of........

Today, my feelings are just another one big bubble. Don't know when its gonna 'POP'.

Nothing much today. Had Managerial Accounting exam but not sure how I fare. Hoping to get more than 80. Not asking more than that because I know that I would not get over that mark.

Tomorrow is Business Communication and hadn't been studying much. I guess I will just 'smoke' the whole thing. Found out about the US Election. Bush won but there are some mixed feelings that he got re-elected. I don't really think much about this political things because, at this precise moment, it doesn't concern me at all.

You know, I miss you Ann. No one company me to Grotto anymore to have a drink and of course just to chat. Feeling lost and no one else to company me to study here in 3rd floor. I know there is Euphie but now, she shuts herself in the room to study. Don't blame her and ya, internet is SSSSSTTTOOOOOPPPPIIIDDDDD.

My application got rejected. Application to work for SHMS F&B department. Its OK. Was feeling down yesterday because of it as I put too high hopes in it. Not going to blame anyone for it except myself. Maybe I'm not good enough. Anyway, next Monday, I'm going to have a CSS interview. Applied for Grotto but it would be nice if they offer me something more than that. Think I'm putting a higher hopes than F&B one.

Now, there are a lot of people studying in the Cafetaria. Unlike last year. I'm begining to feel some emptiness in me. Feeling that there is something that supposed to happen in my life but is not. Maybe I shut God for very long already. I think so. I'm so sorry God. Suddenly I feel like a lost sheep. I know You are looking for me but I'm still wondering very far away from You. Let me be like this awhile more but please find me really fast.

By the way, 3rd floor is very quiet now which is bad as I don't have the pressure on me. Somehow, I can't start studying for tomorrow's paper. I have no idea why but I really wish I could just start studying to make my worriness at peace for not studying yet.

I know I should be studying instead of doing this, but this really helps me to clear off my mind and heart about things. Things that I don't have enough of. Like love, friends, laughter, smiles, hugs, kisses. Not enough. Need more but no one is here to ask for at least a hug. It is impossible to give a hug without getting one back. Got this from the comic Garfield.

So TIRED

Just finished making notes for Business Communication. Take me such a long time to finish. At least I'm free of making notes and could study for other subjects.

Today I had Computer which I just need to hand in my project work. Just one minute and thats it. Actually, I'm fearing for all my subjects. Especially those that I have to do projects. So bloody tiring.

Oh ya, just for the update, we sign a petion but sad to say, today's meeting with the dean is so unsatisfactorily. Trust me, nothing actually came out of it and the conclusion is that we have a new teacher. Thats it and nothing else.

I asked one very simple question which concerns all of us in academic stuff BUT THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM that is so bloody SHALLOW. They really do have shallow minds. My question: 'Can you (meaning the dean) make sure that there is no more of changes in lecturers?' I believe that my question is right and I believe that I should get an honest answer but NO..... I was backfired by those people who backs up the plan to go on strike. IDIOT people.

It is so useless to have this kind of meeting when we, the ASIANS, are discriminated. I mean, when I asked this question, everyone else taks EXCEPT ..... no prizes for guessing, the ASIANS. Gees... what kind of attitude is this?? Hospitality my foot. Professionality, no fucking way. Even the dean doesn't answer my question.

I believe, this SEG is going downhill if this keeps up. So IRRITATED. I'm hating this people who backfired me because they are sucking up to the dean. So what if he is the dean?? Don't I have the right to get an answer?? Geez.........some people